Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
