Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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