The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
