You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
