I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
