We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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