Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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