I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
