My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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