he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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