I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
