roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
