i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
