i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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