Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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