Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
