We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
