I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
