Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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