so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
