someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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