We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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