you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize