I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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