My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize