I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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