im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
