dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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