I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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