i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
