the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
