you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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