dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
