i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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