Sry I called you an 8
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
