I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
