If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I'm really busy with my period
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