I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
