IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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