Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
