I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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