he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
