But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
