Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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