that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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