i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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