I got chris browned last night
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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