He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I met the friendliest cop last night
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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