you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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