is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
