So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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