Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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