Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
