Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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